Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
