I got her a Nickelback box set.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
