hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
