Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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