For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
