Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
