Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
