hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
