Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I am available for nakedness
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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