I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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