I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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