are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
