I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
