Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
