You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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