dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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