Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
