How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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