Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
id be glad to
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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