i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
