His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
