so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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