i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
