Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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