I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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