yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
