She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
