.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
