I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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