Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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