Umm I'm too high to move.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This is my gift to your gina
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
