A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize