He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just found puke in my bra..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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