So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
