No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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