Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
