I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
