You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
