why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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