another moral hangover. fuck.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
