I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
