i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
