u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize