Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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