she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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