I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
