Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We are all done wearing pants today
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
