He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we should paint friendship bongs
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
