They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
