Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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