i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
