I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
