Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
