I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
