dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
