I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
