I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
