i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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