at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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